By By Rita Enemuru
Valentine’s Day is often celebrated with grand gestures, expensive gifts, and public displays of affection. While the day is meant to express love and appreciation, many people fall into certain traps that turn what should be a meaningful experience into a stressful or regrettable one. From overspending to peer pressure and emotional mistakes, there are several things to avoid on Valentine’s Day.
1. Avoid Waiting Until Valentine’s Day to Express Love
Love should not be confined to a single day. According to our respondent, Uka Nwagbara, an academic researcher, people should not wait until Valentine’s Day to express their love or appreciation.
Uka Nwagbara
He argues that love should be expressed every day through thoughtful acts and meaningful gestures. While it is okay to celebrate love on Valentine’s Day, saving all affection and gifting for just one day makes it feel artificial. True love should be constant, not seasonal.
He said: “I don’t believe that gifts should be kept until Valentine’s Day. I don’t need to wait till Valentine’s Day to profess and confess my love to the person I love or the person I care about. I don’t need to wait till Valentine’s Day to gift the person I love. It’s okay to give gifts on Valentine’s Day but I don’t need to wait till then.”
2. Avoid Superficial Gifts
One common mistake people make on Valentine’s Day is giving gifts that have no real meaning or impact. Our respondent, Nwagbara further advised against superficial gifting, where people give items just for the sake of it. He noted that Instead of the usual flowers, chocolates, or teddy bears, consider giving something thoughtful and useful.
“Because of my values and how I think about those things, I actually prefer more heartfelt gifts. It doesn’t need to be so much, it doesn’t need to be a car or a building. It doesn’t need to be a phone but more thoughtful gifts. If I have been dating someone for a while, I should know what the person needs and vice versa.
“For instance, maybe I need a tablet for my work or a certain kind of pot in my kitchen and I’m gifted that, that is a thoughtful gift than the normal flower bouquet than the normal cupcakes, samosa and all of those things. Those things are okay in their context but you will prefer more thoughtful gifts.
“I think we should just avoid superficial gifting and activities. You don’t need to wait until a day to remember and profess a love for someone.
“Be more thoughtful in your gifting Don’t gift artificial gifts. Don’t gifts things that have no impact on the person, gifts that will not benefit the person,” he said.
He also noted that Social Media does not need to keep a record of lovers gifting their partners. He said that posting about Valentine’s gifts on Social Media breeds the possibility of unconscious comparison.
“Your boyfriend or partner could actually be broke on that day and unfortunately he can’t afford a gift. That was why I said that it doesn’t make sense to wait for one day to profess love.
“There are different reasons why people post about their relationship on social media and we don’t really need to know about it. Your love interest and love affair is your personal business. It’s not something that we should be part of.
“We don’t need to be part of your relationship. I feel that for those person who always feel the need to come to the internet to post about their relationship, it’s now no longer between Mr X and Miss/Mrs X.
It’s now a public affair and the public will come into that relationship and determine the the relationship should flow and it could be a problem,” he noted.
3. Avoid Overspending
Another respondent, Mrs Ekemini Umoibom who has been married for the past 14 years remarked that Valentine’s Day has become highly commercialised, pressuring people to spend excessively on gifts, dinners, and experiences. She warned against the dangers of overspending.
Mrs Ekemini Umoibom
According to her, many young people use the day as an opportunity to impress their partners or social media followers, only to regret their financial decisions later.
It is essential to remember that love is not measured by how much money is spent. Overspending on one day can lead to financial struggles in the coming weeks or months. Instead of going overboard, plan within your budget and focus on meaningful expressions of love rather than extravagant purchases.
4. Avoid Materialism
Closely related to overspending is the issue of materialism. Discussions with respondents show that some people equate love with the cost of gifts, believing that the more expensive the gift, the stronger the love. This mindset is dangerous, as it shifts the focus from genuine emotions to material possessions.
Mrs Ekemini pointed out that many people go to extreme lengths to dress up, get their hair done, and buy luxurious gifts just for one day. While looking good and celebrating are fine, moderation is key. Valentine’s Day should be about genuine affection, not about proving financial status or keeping up with social media trends.
5. Avoid Peer Pressure and Social Media Comparison
Social media plays a huge role in shaping people’s expectations of Valentine’s Day. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok are flooded with pictures and videos of people showing off expensive gifts, romantic getaways, and extravagant surprises. This can create unnecessary pressure, leading some individuals to feel inadequate or unloved.
Mrs Ekemini advises against comparing one’s relationship with what is seen online. Not every gift or romantic gesture needs to be broadcasted to the world. The value of love is not determined by social media validation. Instead of focusing on what others are receiving, appreciate the love and effort within your own relationship.
Additionally, people should be mindful of how public they make their relationships. Nwagbara warns that making a relationship too public invites unnecessary opinions and interference. Love should be personal and private, not a public affair controlled by online followers.
6. Avoid Making Emotional Decisions
Valentine’s Day often leads people to make emotional decisions they later regret. In the excitement of receiving gifts or feeling loved, some individuals may make impulsive choices, such as engaging in sexual activity without proper thought or protection.
Mrs Ekemini highlights that many young people feel pressured to “pay back” their partners for expensive gifts by engaging in acts they are not comfortable with. This is a dangerous mindset. Love should never be transactional, and no one should feel obligated to do anything they are not ready for. Decisions about intimacy should be made rationally, not based on the emotions of a single day.
7. Avoid Neglecting the True Meaning of Valentine’s Day
Traditionally, Valentine’s Day was not just about romantic love. It was also about spreading love and kindness to family, friends, and those in need. However, in today’s society, the focus has shifted almost entirely to romantic relationships.
Mrs Ekemini recalls that growing up, Valentine’s Day was a time to reach out to the less privileged, show kindness, and share with the needy. Instead of limiting celebrations to couples, consider using the day to show love to the elderly, the sick, orphans, and others in need. Love is not just about romantic relationships—it is about caring for humanity as a whole.
8. Avoid High Expectations
Many people set unrealistic expectations for Valentine’s Day, hoping for grand gestures, expensive gifts, or a perfect romantic experience. When these expectations are not met, they may feel disappointed or unappreciated.
It is important to manage expectations and understand that love is not defined by a single day. Not everyone can afford luxury gifts or extravagant dates, and that is okay. What truly matters is the effort and sincerity behind the gesture, no matter how small.
9. Avoid Disregarding Your Partner’s Preferences
Everyone has different love languages and ways of celebrating Valentine’s Day. Some people love grand romantic gestures, while others prefer quiet, meaningful moments. It is essential to consider what your partner values rather than assuming that a generic Valentine’s Day plan will work for them.
Instead of following trends or societal expectations, have a conversation with your partner about how they would like to celebrate the day. Some may prefer a heartfelt letter over an expensive gift, while others may appreciate quality time over a fancy dinner. Understanding each other’s preferences ensures that both partners feel loved and appreciated.
10. Avoid Neglecting Self-Love
Lastly, Valentine’s Day is not just for couples. Many people feel sad or lonely on this day simply because they are not in a relationship. However, love is not limited to romantic relationships. It is a great opportunity to practice self-love and appreciate oneself.
Instead of feeling left out, single individuals can use Valentine’s Day to treat themselves to something special, spend time with loved ones, or engage in activities they enjoy. Love starts from within, and self-love is just as important as any other form of love.
Speaking further, a student of Communication and Media Studies, Nichole Nwani listed some things to stay away from on that day.
Nichole Nwani
She said: “Dont get a gift for yourself and say it’s someone did it! Chest it, habibi!! There’s nothing wrong in gifting yourself on Valentine’s Day.
“Don’t wallow in self pity why you’re not in relationship, Valentine’s Day isn’t only for married and people in relationships. Make the most out of the day.
“Don’t text that ex! I know you’ll must have been in a relationship last year or so! Valentine’s Day isn’t the day that you should rekindle the spark which has been off for several months instead take a walk or go to sleep your eyes and head will clear when you wake up.
“Don’t ask people for Valentine’s Day gift if they wanted to, they would do it without you asking.
“Don’t be jealous of people who got gifts from their significant other instead be happy for them,” she cautioned.
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